29 Mar Healing lies in the past
Out of compulsive habits, most of us live in the past- churning stories of what happened, why, how, and who did what. We rewind the tape a million times to find peace in it. But every time we go there, it brings pain, so we mainly take two approaches:
- We shut down that memory, feelings, emotions becoming oblivious to the past- moving on in a futuristic approach, closing our hearts and with the feeling of mistrust.
- We get stuck in the past- reliving them every day by venting out and still holding that grudge, anger, fear, resentment, or any emotion related to it.
And every time something similar happens, we get triggered, and all the emotions that were snubbed, smudged, re-lived, or pushed away in the past come right on the surface with an amplified reaction, i.e., lashing out, suicidal instinct, harming others, or yourself, arguing, violence, relentless crying and so on.
We do it by deflecting our emotions, and over a period of time, we think it’s okay to put up a brave face as others will call me sissy, judge me, or say it’s not the right thing to do.
We grow up with flawed beliefs taken on board by others who notify us :
- Be happy and stay strong all the time.
- Feeling something too deeply is not acceptable and labelled as over-sensitive, over-emotional, over-thinker, etc.
- Behave like a grownup, logical, and valorous with the constant bombardment of instructions of what to feel and whatnot.
- Boys are asked not to cry because it’s too weak for them; girls are asked not to speak up inappropriately because they ought to respect the protocol.
- Shove under the rug what no longer appeases others.
And several others…
Here we are juggling all the conditions/patterns/beliefs, and then it takes a moment for us to snap. We feel powerless and victim to the situation. And then we ask, “what’s wrong with me?”
All the different experiences never healed where we were hurt, afraid, angry, ashamed, etc. . Hence, triggering us to relive those experiences often propels us to use our defense mechanisms of projection, deflection, regression, introjection, denial, rationalisation, etc. to feel safe.
We slowly start leaving our energy fragments to those unwanted situations unknowingly to keep ourselves shielded in the present. This gradually leaves us to feel exhausted, depleted of energies, questioning, “How do we heal ourselves?”
This question usually takes us on the spiral journey to find that peace- long lost and forgotten.
Healing lies in the past. It sounds scary to go back in the past and heal us by bringing those fragments to feel powerful, but as we say, “The only way to get through is to go through.”
With the collective awakening on planet Earth, we are nudged to break all the patterns that no longer serve us, look at ourselves deeply to heal, and move to the NEW EARTH in a higher dimension. This healing requires us to be absolutely bare, naked, and truthful to ourselves, digging up the experiences/pain that trapped our energy in the past. It’s an inner work that requires us to:
- Go deeper and connect to our old selves
- Accept and acknowledge the pain
- Becoming kind and compassionate to ourselves and
- Then going through the pain to get through it
It’s a constant work that requires us to hold ourselves in space- to be absolutely honest about our feelings and allow the emotions to move through to release them.
One of the analogies which I read somewhere and pertains to this healing is:
if we break our bone, we can’t heal it by denying, putting a bandage on, or becoming oblivious to what we feel. It needs us to acknowledge the pain and must require expert intervention. Depending on the severity of the fracture, the doctor (expert in this case) recommends plaster cast or procedure(s) and how well a person follows their doctor’s recommendations. Bones can take between weeks to several months to heal.
It’s exactly the same with our emotional healing too. We need to first acknowledge the discomfort, emotions, feelings prior to restoring ourselves. And then understand the severity based on which the remediation begins.
Understanding this concept is absolutely great from an intellectual standpoint; however, the major SHIFT happens with inner work and healing ourselves at a deeper level.
In the beginning, you may need support and guidance as it may be very frightening to look at yourself in the mirror and see all the dark parts with love, compassion, and kindness.
But know that we all can heal ourselves.
With every shift, the cellular level changes occur for good, pulling apart the layers which we used to protect ourselves.