26 Jan THE JOURNEY FROM ANGER TO FORGIVENESS
We all have been hurt by someone’s behaviour, actions, or words that come out of their mouth. Haven’t we?
Criticised, nagged, or mocked by overly protective parents, dominating siblings, controlling partners, or competent colleagues. Or a traumatic experience where we have experienced physical or emotional abuse or even torture. And it’s hard to ignore that these wounds leave us broken, full of anger, bitterness, and resentment. Anger and bitterness because our idea of justice was attacked and wrecked by those experiences.
It’s natural to feel the hatred, resentment, and bitter feelings for those we felt did wrong to us.
I was no different. Holding grudges, tit for tat attitude, and showing the other person down, were the only ways I learned to let the anger reside in me.
But a few years ago, in this inward journey, my life changed, and I realised that forgiveness is the key to freedom.
Keeping scores, having grudges, and imbuing bitterness are very heavy which keeps us in the mess of darkness. It may sound like the right thing to do, but over a period of time, it starts eating our inner world like a worm.
I wanted to retaliate against those who I thought tortured me. And I wanted to show others down with the thought of letting them taste their own medicine.
Holding grudges is very exhausting.
The attitude of keeping a score is debilitating and rips off the beauty of kindness.
It bereft me of my peace of mind. And the poisonous anger started affecting my life and emotional state. I had so much hurt bubbling in me that it took the shape of anger, then grief, then resentment, then depression – all for keeping the offense close to my heart.
Anger is a very low vibrating energy that moves slowly if you allow it to be. If you don’t release it, it will shut down your heart and create a wall-like structure around it.
I am not dismissing the emotion of ANGER, but
Like every other emotion, ANGER is a vital emotion – it doesn’t need to be dismissed and the way we outlet it makes a difference. Instead, we can explore what part of us felt injustice.
I hear my client saying: “No, I can’t forgive him for what he has done to me,” and hold onto anger like a baby — a baby with fangs that ultimately create toxic energy in you. They feel safe with the rage, and it’s normal to feel that way, as it feels like it builds a secure wall to guard the victim.
It’s not always easy to forgive others, especially if you have been physically or verbally abused/tortured, but it is possible.
And replacing ANGER with FORGIVENESS doesn’t happen in a jiff, and first, it takes a while to allow the trapped bitterness and resentment to move through your body and release. And sometimes, it takes days to months to let it all out.
I would invite you to take a pause here and see what resonates with you:
- Are you holding back anger?
- Do you often want to even the scores?
- Are you holding resentment against someone?
- How does it feel?
I am sharing the steps on how to forgive others. Each step may take a while. So be patient before jumping onto the next step. You may spend days on one stage, do it on repeat or repeat each step multiple times. You are in charge – do as it resonates. And be patient as we are dealing with the trapped emotion that may have been sitting for a while.
Step 1: Recognize the anger energy – how do you feel when you are angry? Notice your body cues.
- Does it feel heavy?
- Do you feel suffocating?
- What triggers you? Does it remind you of someone?
- Does it remind you of the experience of childhood?
- Who do you think did wrong to you?
Step 2: Find a way to release anger. Anger cannot simply be replaced by forgiveness, and anger needs an outlet. So before we move to forgiveness, let’s create a container for releasing anger and similar emotions. Some of the ways I suggest to my clients are:
- Scream or cry in a pillow.
- Yell in a safe place (e.g. car parked in the garage) where no one can hear you and imagine the person who hurt you sitting in front of you.
- Punch a punching bag.
- Stomp your feet when no one’s around.
And do it on repeat every time you see anger rearing its head.
Step 3: Forgiveness
- Create a safe bubble. Call upon Christ Consciousness, divine power, and higher guidance.
- Ask for help to forgive the person for letting go of the baggage you have been carrying.
- Call that person’s energy.
- Talk to the energy and forgive the person against who you are holding anger or resentment.
- You can use ho’oponopono prayer for letting it go: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you, I love you.”
Step 4: Karmic Ties:
Remember, we are here on this journey orchestrated by our souls. The soul chooses each challenge, and it’s our free will how and what we make out of the experience. Most of the abuse/ torture criticism comes from Karmic relationships.
And if and only if you feel ready – allow your higher self to show you how you can look at your life from a higher perspective and know that you need to let go of the anger to disconnect from them energetically.
Forgiveness is thus liberating. You don’t have to ask for forgiveness physically – know that anger/resentment/bitterness doesn’t serve you.
When you are ready to forgive the other – it will help you be free from the energetic cords, energy fragments, karmic ties, and toxicity of the other person’s energy.
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